I was not going to write about recovery today, I really wasn’t. I was prepared to write about the first stop on the Preschool for Mimi Grand Tour, which began at 7:30 this morning at our local Waldorf school.
However.
I have been seized by the nastiest cravings. I have no idea why they’ve struck now. I bought a beer at the grocery store for Jon on Monday. I am staring down 10 months’ sobriety. I feel guilty that I have not yet gotten a sponsor. My rehab center’s annual reunion is in three weeks’ time. Things are stressful. Things are great.
I certainly know by now that cravings are capricious and strike when the occasion suits them. These have been notable because there have been so many in such a short time, and they’ve been so sneaky. They have been the nastiest kind, too, the ‘it’s okay, just one won’t hurt’ kind. Not an hour ago I was perusing cooking schools on-line and one place noted that they serve wine with all of their classes and my mind was already choosing between a cab and a shiraz before the rest of my brain caught up enough to put on the brakes. That. Was. Spooky.
So, I am now turning my thoughts away from the Waldorf school and to strategies to deal with this, and I hope to find one or two that do not require vats of ice cream.
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I hear those "one won't hurt" cravings and they send me spiraling into the worst hours of the day. That happened this afternoon actually, and I have no idea why. Those are the worst. Sorry today was so rough!
Comment by Corinne March 11, 2010 @ 1:16 AMBest luck, will you share what works?
Comment by J.B. March 11, 2010 @ 7:51 AMHate cravings. HATE them. And I still get them. I'm just grateful that the obsession to drink has been lifted.Hang in there and keep sharing.
Comment by Kristin H. March 12, 2010 @ 4:40 AMCall someone! Ideally a sponsor. I swear, my sponsor is one of the best blessings ever ever. I'm not saying you won't get the cravings, but your knee jerk reaction will eventually become dial-a-spons. Or the craving will shut down because you know you'd have to call a sponsor after you drank and that's too much of a heart sinker.xo!!
Comment by Jane March 12, 2010 @ 6:11 PMThank you, girlfriends. I would love to say they've all gone but not quite yet. I'm still ploughing through ice cream. Meetings, hot tea, yoga… it all helps. More than anything, your support helps. Thanks again.
Comment by Robin March 13, 2010 @ 3:53 AM